A celebration of small wins today

1.) I ran 30 minutes on the treadmill today (a mere 2.5 miles, but it was something wasn' it?)
2.) Didn't have to pay for the rental car I reserved but didn't pick up at the Chihuahua Airport yesterday
3.) I might get to come home tomorrow depending on if the Standbye Nazi's will allow me (want to avoid NO SEAT FOR YOU!)

Philosophical Rambling #1

I have had several conversations with friends lately about doing for others. These conversations revolve heavily about how we wish we knew what to do…or how we wish we had more time in the day…or how we wish we had the resources. What drives the urge for us to do these things? Is it a sense of duty or purpose? Is it replacing guilty feelings of past wrongdoings with a satisfaction that you made reparations by doing a good deed for someone? Is it that we are completely bored with the normal everyday mundane tasks that doing something for someone else would add a spark of life or sense of purpose?

I often wonder why I don’t volunteer enough of my time for worthy causes outside of the time I spend investing in the advancement of my own career – that’s kind of what it’s felt like in the past 6 years. That’s been the nature of everything I have done up to this point though – developing myself as a person…with an intense focus on work. At the time it seemed to be the only thing going for me as a single guy. Boring or short sighted, you say? Perhaps. But it was all a part of making me who I am today, and I don’t think I’m boring or short-sighted. This was all part of making me ready for life as a husband and father.

So what’s my excuse for not giving of my time and talent more outside of work? I could use the excuse that it’s the business travel, which has been the case only in the recent past (so what happened the last six months of no travel?). Or I’m too tired after work and want to run or workout or veg in front of the TV. Or I’m going to other destinations to visit friends and family in an effort to do exciting things that I can’t do in the small town I currently live. But as my brother says…excuses are like assholes – everyone’s got one.

If I have a jones to help others, why am I not feeding that desire? Why am I not heeding the call? Is it that I am that selfish with my time and think only of myself? Is it because I don’t know exactly who to help, what to do, what cause to support, or even where to begin? Is it that the people I would help wouldn’t appreciate it anyway, so why bother? Would I have to throw myself 100% into it to satisfy my passion which would lead to decisions about my career and personal life that I may or may not be prepared to make at this time out of fear of the unknown?

Some of us choose to give back in our faith community by leading worship, a bible study, or providing for the body outside the four walls of a church. Others choose to give back to friends and family in times of need or trouble. Some even give to complete strangers they’ve never met.

Is a smile to someone adequate enough until I get it all figured out and make up my mind what I’m going to do?

I've got some running shoes here in my bag...

...that haven't left.

Chastise and mock away.

:(

No running, no cry...

It's been 10 days since I've put on my running shoes and Garmin watch to go for a run. I miss it. And here I am about to go out to dinner. I am going to find the treadmill here in this Holiday Inn and run tomorrow morning. If I post anything tomorrow saying I reneged on my commitment to run, chastise and mock me heavily.

Talkin' 'Bout My...G-G-G-G-Generation's Intellectual Capital

I heard something very interesting today during a conversation I had with someone I'm traveling with this week. He is around my dad's age and as children at or around their late 20's, early 30's. We were talking about the state of manufacturing today - low cost labor leading to outsourcing, material consumption in low cost countries driving up commodity prices here in the USA, trade deficits with Asia, America's transformation from industrial powerhouse to a service industry economy, and the changing worldwide political spectrum that will determine the way businesses strategize and plan for the future -lighthearted topics for a Logan's Roadhouse dinner. As the conversation progresses he says that it more than likely won't get any better and that the future for his children and grandchildren doesn't look good. His argument centered around his perceived reality that American youth today do not possess the "intellectual capital" that the Boomers and their predecessors carried with them in past generations.

I'm sure my jaw dropped, as that statement did sound rather bleak and defeatist. We talked about the spoiled nature of the typical American - the self-imposed fat and happy entitlement we share as a free nation, devoid of the knowledge of how much worse it could be as we take our freedoms for granted. Is there apathy among us? Sure, but me being the optimist I am don't agree with the statement that we are completely incompetent. Room for improvement? Absolutely! The solution? Not sure...

For the sake of my country, my children, and my children's children I hope we find it. We most certainly are on an interesting path. The next 50 years should be VERY interesting.

I'm not quite done with this topic, however I am tired. I'd never sleep if I continued to dwell on the state of the world and how God has planned me to be involved. Until then, I'll give you a topic: The Holy Roman Empire wasn't Holy or Roman - discuss...

Again, Texas...

...and again, Mexico.

Didn't realize that after leaving my old job I would still be spending time in Texas/Mexico border towns - I hit two this week...Laredo/Nuevo Laredo and Brownsville/Matamoros. Poor planning on my part for opting to fly back to St. Louis on Friday when during my Mata visit I will be within a 30 minute drive of South Padre Island. Next time - oh yes, next time.

At least with El Paso/Juarez I knew the good places to eat.

Gone public...sort of

Because my first post was rather personal I decided to start this one in the event anyone who actually reads this thing and wants to make a comment about the content, style, and originality (or lack thereof) of this little piece of the Internet may do so without feeling the need to it on a post about my grandfather. Let the fun begin!

Random ramblings for Bob Petts

A sad and unexpected trip home this weekend has allowed me to spend some much appreciated time with my family. My grandfather passed away Tuesday night so I came home for the Friday visitation, mass, and funeral. You hate to use such an occasion to visit with friends and family that you haven't seen in such a while, but it was a comfort that we were all here to help each other through a difficult time.

Grandpa Bob passed while visiting with a friend who happened to be the mother of a girl I went to high school with. They were sharing stories of each other's grandchildren. He had just celebrated his 72nd birthday last week. Despite several heart attacks, bypass surgeries, and even losing a leg to vascular disease caused by years of smoking Camel unfiltered's and canned Spam, he maintained his quiet, resourceful, and friendly demeanor. Although he wasn't vocal about it he loved his children and grandchildren. Listening to stories at the funeral home as his friends poured through reinforced the picture of strength and stubbornness born from the 47 years he worked building bridges all over Indiana.

My white haired grandfather with the rugged Robert Redford good looks was certainly more black and white than gray, not so much a man who dealt in absolutes, but a man who would tell exactly what was on his mind. As serious has he seemed on the outside he was certainly a playful jokester. One of my favorite Grandpa stories happened last fall when I was home for Thanksgiving. He came over after a visit to the Knights of Columbus where he had gotten into an argument with one of his bar buddies about how much the St. Louis Arch would sway in the event of a large wind. He and I looked up the facts on the Internet, revealing that my grandfather had argued correctly that it was not more than a few inches as opposed to several feet. He requested I print out our findings so he could "prove that son of a bitch wrong." The satisfaction on his face and the twinkle in his eye at that moment will forever make me laugh.

I will never forget the Christmas Eve's at his place out at Squirrel Creek apartments - he loved having all of us in his living room and around his dining room table eating his potato soup and freshly sliced ham. He kept dog treats in his truck for our dog Emmy. I remember his old van with the duck tire cover and the mini-kitchen where I burned my finger on the cigarette lighter at least 8 times in my earlier years. Or never knowing if he was more comfortable with a hand shake or a hug, but always feeling happier that I gave the hug.

Men like grandpa don't come along too often - simple yet complex, stern but loving, rough around the edges but refined. Sure he made mistakes - don't we all? But he had a lot of the good stuff - grit, guts, love of life, and a charitable heart. God smiled on him yesterday with a beautiful day and to top it off he had a lot of friends and family celebrate his life.

Here's to you Grandpa Bob...