Thursday, June 28, 2007

Not quite 2 miles...

...but I did put on my running shoes. I think the verb that can be used to describe my activity was running. Probably more like ambling. Oh well. I'm happy. I have to start somewhere to lose the 6 pounds I've gained back.

Here's to hoping for continued trends!

Friday, June 22, 2007

And now, the rest of the story...

I received this in an e-mail today and find it rather humorous…enjoy!!

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit it's pretty good). We always hear "the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of them makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle, besides we know you will bring it up again later.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Public Service - a month and a half late

This post is for those of us who could not make it through the rain delay at Indy this year so they can see what was missed during the restart. Enjoy!

Saturday, June 16, 2007

James Lipton is short...other ramblings

While walking through LAX last Friday I missed my golden opportunity to tell James Lipton (host of In the Actors Studio) that my favorite curse word is sh*t. I'm not really sure if that is my favorite curse word, but it would have been funny.

Speaking of California - it's nice but expensive. I found that I can drive a Dodge 4X4 on the 405 like a race car. There are few places on the LA freeways to ditch your car in the event of an earthquake. My goal is to find at least one.

Best ballpark seats in America are the outfield bleacher seats at Dodger Stadium - $27.50 for all you can eat hot dogs, nachos, popcorn, peanuts, and soda. Just be sure you are not a fan of the away team or you will be heckled a good majority of the game. Once the sun dips below the treeline at the end of the first inning you have the pleasure of a California sunset that reminds you of the Eagles Hotel California album.

USC band members are tall, their cheerleaders are hot, and their head football coach is friendly (especially if you almost bump into him).

Port is the worst after dinner drink, but Fat Bastard Merlot is good (despite the fact that some folks in my party say it tastes like dirty French socks).

There IS so much drama in the LBC - I can see why it's hard being Snoop D O Double G...

Sunday, June 3, 2007

More water in my ear than in the lake

I went out on the boat today with the gang from work and I made my first attempt at water skiing. This was proceeded by the jeers of one of our interns to "man up." Of course you can't follow up that type of trash talk with "I think I'll do it later." This sad sad spectacle once again proved that God never intended for me to have anything on my feet but socks and shoes. After 10 frustrating attempts I decided I would try another day and give someone else a chance to actually ski instead of turning laps in the boat around me while trying to grab onto the rope. If the water was more stable I think I'd have a shot.

I did replace my frustration at my ill fated attempts at standing on water with holding on for dear life on the tube - hence the water in my ear. I will be sleeping on my right side tonight to try and get it out. I have a headache from trying to shake it out of my head - and I know I'm "this close" to getting it out. Despite half of Norfork Lake drowning my inner ear, I enjoyed the day on the boat, eating sunflower seeds and getting mildly burned.

I need to run this week - I haven't run since I was in Indy a month ago...jeez, a month ago. Even though it is the beginning of June I feel that it is almost over. I'll be in West Plains two days this week, traveling to Hanover, IL to visit their plant for a few days, golf outing on Friday, Cards game on Sunday, fly to LA for a week on Monday...life is passing before my eyes - I need to slow down and enjoy.